Tuesday, February 14, 2012

The St. Valentine's Day Kitchen Massacre

It starts with extra flour in a mixing bowl, a wooden spoon and the inimitable imagination of a child. Adding a splash of water, she becomes the mommy. Her sister shakes in colored sprinkles and takes the form of another little girl trying on a different voice, slightly higher and more excited. Here's to an exploratory afternoon in the family kitchen.

My husband likes cinnamon rolls. Weeks ago my daughters and I worked up a plan to make heart-shaped cinnamon rolls for Daddy's Valentine's Day breakfast. I've never made them before, so that set out a challenge and I rarely, if ever, back down from myself.

What happened first was a mistake in calculation. I chose an overnight recipe from the Food Network's website that says, clearly and explicitly, “In the bowl of a stand mixer.” I do not have a stand mixer, but I have mad juju with my hands and I stand when I mix. Anyway, bad idea. The doubling in size after two and a half hours was more like a sigh. I tossed it without even rolling the dough.

Then knowing I'd be up before the dawn mixing and scraping, I found these recipes, and, for sake of time, opted for the yeast-less variety.


I even managed to shape them like pretty little hearts that turned into pretty little squarish hearts in the oven. I have to say, the recipe makes WAY too much frosting. I don't even know what to do with all this cream cheese frosting. Something inside me is saying, “Bake a cake.” But that's just nonsense; where would I put a cake?

Maybe I should just give my kids another mixing bowl filled with flour and water, some dry rice and salt and pepper. They know just how to cook up a proper St. Valentine's Day massacre.

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